Remarks And Asides

Thanks to Moe at Whatever Works, I learned that the fruits of Dan Quayle’s genius didn’t fall far from the tree.  His son, now an Arizona congressman, said:

“When I was a child, President Ronald Reagan was the nice man who gave us jelly beans when we visited the White House.

I didn’t know then, but I know it now: The jelly beans were much more than a sweet treat that he gave out as gifts. They represented the uniqueness and greatness of America — each one different and special in its own way, but collectively they blended in harmony . . . “

I happen to think Congressman Quayle is on to something.  I never saw Ronald Reagan eat a black jelly bean. 

Come to think of it, J. Danforth Quayle himself had that race thing down to a science. Speaking before the United Negro College Fund in 1989, he reengineered the group’s motto:

What a terrible thing to have lost one’s mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is.

He also said this about David Duke, the Lousiana racist who ran as a Republican:

Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.

And finally, he told a group of American Samoans:

You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be.

Genius, pure genius.


Speaking of genius-ness, it looks like George W. Bush will not be going to Switzerland after all.  The Decider was supposed to appear as the keynote speaker at a Jewish charity dinner in Geneva, but he made one of those courageous decisions not to attend, due to “security” reasons.

Of course, it may be, as some allege, that W. fears spending some time in the hoosegow, since criminal complaints against him for torture have been filed in Geneva courts.  According to Reuters, Reed Brody, an attorney for Human Rights Watch said:

President Bush has admitted he ordered waterboarding which everyone considers to be a form of torture under international law. Under the Convention against Torture, authorities would have been obliged to open an investigation and either prosecute or extradite George Bush,” Brody said.

Whoops. Perhaps world travel is not in the cards for our former president. Looks like Dallas’ Preston Hollow residents will have to get used to seeing W. hanging around there more often. 


I did it!  I finally lived long enough to agree with Bill Kristol!  In his column, he said that it is “not a sign of health” that Glenn Beck “rants about the caliphate taking over the Middle East…and lists (invents?) the connections between caliphate-promoters and the American left.” That’s great.

But speaking of health, if only Mr. Kristol would get his own check up.  He still believes the Iraq War he helped bring to pass was the right thing to do. He has argued for U.S. military action against Iran. He strongly urged John McCain to unleash Sarah Palin on civilization.  So, I don’t think he’s exactly the right guy to pass judgment on Glenn Beck’s health, but on the right there aren’t too many right guys.


Speaking of Sarah Palin and her continued assault on civilization, the former fractional governor of Alaska’s 20-year-old daughter, Bristol, will join in on the family’s bilking business as she gets set to release her, ahem, “memoir” this summer.  The much-awaited book is tentatively titled, “John McCain Answers Prayers.” 



  1. Duane,

    I like the Truman Capote reference to your suggested title of Bristol’s eagerly anticipated memoir. I hope she writes it herself. Having read the odd Tweet or two from the unlikely spokes-model for teen sexual abstinence, recounting her diffuse life experiences might rival Vanilla Ice’s riveting “Ice by Ice.” Wait, it seems Vanilla’s autobiography was ghostwritten. That’s the problem with having internet access; so many myths are quickly debunked. To be fair, Bristol could write a sequel to Genet’s, “A Thief’s Journal.” Now that would be material worthy of a trademark license.

    When Bill Kristol questions anyone’s credibility — about anything — a shark too many has been jumped. Glenn must now put his Learny McBookerton glasses to good use and share with fellow paranoids research proving Irving, Bill’s dad, was an ex-Marxist. Granted, Irving’s youthful flirtation with Leon Trotsky doesn’t compete with Woodrow Wilson’s more insidious Progressive ideology; but what would George Washington think of Bill’s genealogical connection to class warfare?


    • Juan,

      Saint Teresa of Ávila: “Answered prayers cause more tears than those that remain unanswered.” In this case, yes.



      • Duane,

        I’m still grinning over J. Danforth Quayle’s “Happy Camper” ? to American Samoans. Maybe J. Danforth was channeling Chevy Chase.

        I was living in Louisiana when David Duke was the GOP gubernatorial candidate against Edwin “Pirate King” Edwards. Fast Eddy won, but Duke raked in over 40% of the vote. Not a bad showing considering commercials ran daily showing a twenty something Duke button-holing LSU students in his Nazi uniform. Edwards quipped later that airing the commercial was probably a mistake, as it only enhanced Duke’s credibility north of Alexandria.

        From one Happy Camper to another,



        • Juan,

          I was thinking that same thing about the congressman from Montana who said he’d like to put some judicial activists on the endangered species list. I’m sure it will solidify his credentials, as he seeks a senate seat next year.

          I think it’s that way with a lot of politicians in the South. They don’t really fear saying some crazy shit.



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