I don’t see what the big deal was over Kansas Republican Congressman Kevin Yoder taking his love truncheon for what was, no doubt, a short dip in the Sea of Galilee. I mean, what bored kid in Sunday School doesn’t dream of doing that? Huh?
Fortunately for all involved, my own congressman, Ozark Billy, kept Mr. Winky in his drawer on his $11,789 junket to Israel—paid for by an arm of AIPAC, the Israeli lobbying group—which occurred a week later than the one in which Congressman Yoder’s tallywacker sort of made diplomatic history.
Speaking of Israel and the GOP, I have it on good authority that God is so pissed at the Republicans for slandering his name that he may send Isaac in to Tampa to get their attention. Nothing demonstrates God’s wrath like a windy patriarch.
Speaking of the Republican convention, Todd Akin has been disinvited. Gee, was it something he said?
The Secret Service arrested a man in Washington state for emailing threats to President Obama. Needless to say, when an agent and a policeman went to his door, he greeted them with a shotgun. Like most of us, he also had a gun in his ankle holster.
His poor mum said,
He has a good education, he’s a good boy, but he’s done a stupid thing. Never got arrested, was in the military, has a college education. And I’m just a little bit upset and shocked.
Let me see, he was in the military and has a college education. I wonder which one of those things would best explain why a guy would threaten the president and greet the cops with a gun?
A former University of Nebraska women’s basketball star who claimed to be the victim of an anti-gay attack appears to have staged the attack herself out of a desire to spark social change, police say.
Hmm. You mean to tell me that there is such a shortage of homophobia in America that you have to make stuff up? Damn. We are making progress.
There’s been a lot in the news this year about the Supreme Court and obviously people are paying very close attention:
…even with all that debate over the Supreme Court and its rulings, two-thirds of Americans can’t name any justices, according to a survey released Monday by FindLaw.com, a legal information Web site.
Okay. So people aren’t paying attention, particularly to institutions that can dramatically affect their lives.
But they are paying attention to important stuff like this:
Wow! Who’s Kelsey Grammer?
Let’s get serious:
WASHINGTON — Mitt Romney’s promise to restore $716 billion that he says President Obama “robbed” from Medicare has some health care experts puzzled…
Marilyn Moon, vice president and director of the health program at the American Institutes for Research, calculated that restoring the $716 billion in Medicare savings would increase premiums and co-payments for beneficiaries by $342 a year on average over the next decade; in 2022, the average increase would be $577.
Man. Romney better hope Kelsey Grammer keeps on procreatin’.
Finally, and speaking of Mittens, it turns out that the “doctor” at the heart of Todd Akin’s theory regarding the special birth-control powers of “legitimately” raped female bodies was a Romney surrogate last time Mittens offered his services to the American people:
Today, Dr. John Willke, a founder of the Pro Life Movement, endorsed Governor Mitt Romney and his campaign for our nation’s highest office. Dr. Willke is a leading voice within the pro-life community and will be an important surrogate for Governor Romney’s pro-life and pro-family agenda…
Welcoming Dr. Willke’s announcement, Governor Romney said, “I am proud to have the support of a man who has meant so much to the pro-life movement in our country…I look forward to working with Dr. Willke and welcome him to Romney for President.”
Rumor has it that the guy who came up with the eat-a-vulture-to-cure-syphilis idea has endorsed Mittens and is about to be welcomed into the 2012 Romney fold.