Bronco Billy And The Convention Circus

I guess Donald Trump wasn’t available.

But they got the next best thing.

I don’t know who the Republican genius was that thought it would be a good idea to have Clint Eastwood address the convention in prime time, but, as a Democrat, I’d like to personally thank him or her.

Unfortunately, by now the Republicans have offered their thanks to the genius by giving him or her a much less dignified, but certainly much more challenging, job: getting the chili sauce stains out of Newt Gingrich’s shirt, after that disappointed Romney surrogate got a little sloppy last night while pulling an all-you-can-eat all-nighter at the Golden Corral in Tampa.

That’s how Newt drowns his sorrows, and Republicans had reason to be especially sorrowful, after they quickly figured out that this year’s Republican National Convention will now be remembered, fittingly, as the night Clint Eastwood gave his greatest performance, at least in terms of representing today’s GOP.

His utter disrespect for President Obama, though cringe-inducing for most normal folks, was quite enjoyable for those lucky enough to be in the house for such buffoonery. The only thing that could have topped it would have been a Cheech and Chong routine performed by Donald Trump and Sheriff Joe Arpaio, with that zany Republican duo smoking dope, talking trash about Obama’s phony birth certificate, and doing an updated Obama-version of  “Basketball Jones.”

Our own Ozark Billy Long was in attendance and said this about Eastwood’s performance:

The crowd ate it up. They loved Clint Eastwood and loved his speech and my tip off was when all the liberals, including David Axelrod, was one of the first to chime in on Twitter, and, uh, some of the media folks down here started tweetin’ about how terrible it was, how egregious it was, and I thought, well, if we’ve ticked those people off, he probably did what he was suppose to do out there…talkin’ to the president, who wasn’t there, I thought that that was pretty entertaining…

And thus I leave you with that wonderful assessment from my congressman, our representative from Missouri’s 7th District. I am damned proud to be from such a place that would put such a man in Washington, D.C.

Aren’t you?

4 Comments

  1. As a long-time admirer of Eastwood’s creative film work I was saddened by his fumbling, undignified and nearly incoherent soliloquy. It was redolent of once great stars who have from time to time been reduced to hawking products on television ads. One such that comes to mind was Glen Ford – he was selling something to veterans, I think it was insurance. Jane Russell hawked brassieres. They did it for money and now I am left wondering if Clint did it for attention. 😦

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  2. Yellow Dog

     /  August 31, 2012

    I’m an old dog and this undoubtedly was the most uneventful and boring conventions I have ever watched in my 57 years. Eastwood was fumbling, stuttering, and was all but incoherent. When it was over I asked my husband, “What the hell was THAT?”

    Not only was the crowd constantly checking their IPODS/IPADS/IPHONES etc. and ignoring the speakers but the speakers themselves were….well…they were no President Obama. Hell, McCain and what’s her name put on a better show than this bunch of preppie punks.

    Make my day? You bet Clint….keep up the good work. You betcha you made my day.

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  3. RDG,

    Clint’s gravelly homage to Ionesco’s The Chairs staged absurdity
    was too sophisticated for Tea Party sensibilities. It’s apparent that the wrong celebrity was invited to represent the intellectual depth of post-sane conservatism. Too bad. Gallagher’s big mallet could have provided the perfect pulpy metaphor for Romney’s saber rattling acceptance speech. And what smashes the indelicate truth behind “reserve racism” better than the Obama-as-watermelon motif?

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    • Gallagher would have been an even better stroke of genius! Have you ever thought of going to work for the GOP as an “ideas” guy? They’re probably looking for one about now.

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