Petticoat Joplin

Sometimes I feel sorry for conservatives.

Like one of our local Obama-haters named Marilyn Beasley, who often writes into the Joplin Globe and who sometimes (and inexplicably) gets featured as a guest columnist.

Not long ago she wrote a typical Foxish piece about Obama supposedly gutting welfare-to-work standards so that lazy, dark Democrats could stay home and smoke crack and have babies. Okay, she didn’t exactly put it that way, but that’s how I read it and I suspect how she meant it.

In any case, a couple of adults have written to the Globe trying to correct the lie that Obama is changing the work standards under welfare reform, a lie that Romney has used in stump speeches and television ads. But Mrs. Beasley will have none of it. She’s sticking to her own set of facts, thank you.

But my point about Mrs. Beasley is that in a way I feel sorry for her and those like her, even though my pity has limits. Here’s why: In Friday’s paper, she responded to a critic of hers, Jim Williams, who had written:

Marilyn Beasley’s letter of Sept. 10 states in part: “I can prove the facts to back up what I write.” Is she serious? If so, is she suffering from short-term memory loss? Most likely her information comes from an unreliable source, namely, Fox News.

Mrs. Beasley responded:

Mr. Williams…assumed that I get my information from Fox News. Although I love listening to Fox, I think for myself and read everything I can to know what is happening in our country and to our country.

So far, so good, don’t you think? I mean, after that statement I was expecting Mrs. Beasley to drop on us a Mother Jones reference, or, heck, The New York Times, for God’s sake. But then—and this is where my limited pity enters the picture—she writes:

I first read about this directive on the Drudge Report and

Uh-oh. Let me see. Drudge and Newsmax? Let’s stop here for a moment.

Right-wingin’ Drudge is a big-time Romney guy and the source of most of Rush Limbaugh’s radio show. And a former senior writer at Forbes called Newsmax the “great right hope” and said it is “a must-read on the conservative media circuit.” Dick Morris, toesucker-in-chief, writes a column for Newsmax and has said it reflects “what Republicans in the heartland are really thinking.” In other words, Newsmax tells people like Marilyn Beasley what they want to hear.

So, sadly, Mrs. Beasley hasn’t exactly shown herself able to think for herself and “read everything” she can “to know what is happening in our country and to our country.” But she wasn’t done, so let’s hear her out:

Since I don’t just accept things on face value, I started searching facts. I found other articles about this in the Washington Examiner (Oct 15), Political News (Oct.12), and the Heritage Organization, among others. I believe the Heritage Organization is one of the most reputable groups when it comes to fact finding, and it had extensive information on the subject. I would advise anyone who is interested in finding out the facts to check these out.

Okay, don’t laugh. Feel pity. Lots of pity. She represents a lot of people where I live, here in Petticoat Joplin. And I suspect she represents a lot of folks where you live, too.

The Washington Examiner is a right-wing tabloid owned by a right-wing gazillionarie named Philip Anschutz, who also owns another, more influential, right-wing magazine called The Weekly Standard. Politico says these holdings have given the gazillionaire,

a megaphone for his right-wing views on taxes, national security and President Barack Obama that the 130 or so companies he owns have not provided him.

So much for the unimpeachable credibility of another one of Mrs. Beasley’s factual sources. How about her reference to something called “Political News”? What the hell is that? Beats me. I couldn’t find a site called Political News. So, I’m guessing she got it either from a section in the Hooterville World Guardian or her church bulletin.

In any case, her last reference, the one she said is “the most reputable” “when it comes to fact finding,” was to the Heritage “Organization,” by which I presume she means The Heritage “Foundation,” a very right-wing think tank with a reputation for more tank than think.

Jamison Foser described the tank think, the one that was for the individual mandate before it was against it because The Scary Negro embraced it, this way:

Again and again, Heritage crosses the line between “wrong” and “dishonest.”

Constantly bouncing between wrong and dishonest is a perfect description of right-wing media in general. And it helps to explain why it is that rather than always get angry at the Marilyn Beasleys of the world, I occasionally feel sorry for them.

You see, the reason that these Obama-hating folks are so often wrong and so often dishonest is because of the polluted troughs in which they stick their news noses into feed. When you are challenged on your Fox News source and your defense is that you also get your news from,

Drudge, Newsmax, Washington Examiner, and The Heritage Foundation,

then you are to be pitied—at least partially. At some point you are obligated to stick your snout into more diverse troughs, if not more reputable ones. At some point you have to realize that not all the “truth” is found on Fox or on the lips of Rush Limbaugh.

And at some point the Marilyn Beasleys around us have to realize that they are being suckered and used by rich right-wingers, who manipulate these pitiful folks into voting against their own economic interests in favor of the interests of people like Philip Anschutz, Sheldon Adelson, and the Koch brothers.



  1. As usual there are more than enough insights on the issue from Mark Twain.

    “The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a man only tells them with all his might.”
    “When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.”


  2. Unfortunately, the likes of Ms. Beasley will go to their graves believing that the right-wing haters have their interests at heart. I wonder if she is drawing Social Security or Medicare, or if she plans on drawing them? Her heroes on the right want to reduce benefits on Social Security and eliminate Medicare. Is she concerned about her future or the future of her children, grandchildren, nieces, or nephews? Does she want them to work until they die or spend their golden years paying health insurance? I wonder if she believes that cutting taxes for corporations and wealthy people who pay no taxes will help the unemployment rate? Does she believe that the war in Iraq was not engineered by the military-industrial complex?

    I am sure that she believes Obama caused the Iraq War, global warming, and every problem in this country. I am sure she supports his impeachment but looks at the war-mongering George Bush as a hero. There is no hope for those like Ms. Beasley. She will always be right, and if she is proven wrong, it will be the Democrats fault.


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