Remarks And Asides

It may be a while before Turd Blossom, Karl Rove, can again bloom on Fox “News.”

According to New York magazine, honcho Roger Ailes has put out the word that Rove and the Toesucker, Dick Morris, can’t be booked on any segment without permission from the top.

Rove and Morris have done something that up until now only Glenn Beck could pull off: embarrass Fox executives. Congratulations, boys!

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Dick Armey, former congressman and current Tea Party jerk, has taken his toys—and a cool $8 million—and left Freedom Works, the completely phony “grassroots” reactionary group. Nobody knows why Dick bugged out, and the point is, nobody really cares. We’re just glad the Tea Party is disintegrating.

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Speaking of teapartier’s quitting, Senator Jim DeMint is leaving the Senate.  He figures he has done all the damage he can do as a politician (even though he still has four years to go on his term) and will soon become president of the Heritage Foundation, which, as a font of much muddled thinking on the right, is doing damage on a much grander scale.

And, of course, there is much more money to be made out of government (the current Heritage president reportedly makes more than $1 million), as Sarah Palin, a teapartier who didn’t want to finish her term either, found out.

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Same-sex dope smokers can now get legally married and legally stoned, or vice versa, in Washington state.

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Pope Benedict XVI, the Vicar of Christ, is only the fifth most powerful person in the world. We’re finally making progress after 2000 years!

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Speaking of Christ, I found this little clip extraordinarily funny. Keep your eyes on the poor lady in the seat on the right, as she experiences the love of God:

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More Moocher Madness:

President Obama and the Democrats won last month’s election because they were able to turn out voters who are dependent on the government, former New Hampshire governor and Mitt Romney adviser John H. Sununu said last night.

Sununu, who during the election did everything but drop the N-word on Obama, said, “It was not because of message. It was not because of message.” No, of course not. Message had nothing to do with it. (Shhh. Don’t tell them any different. We like winning.)

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A couple of weeks ago, I heard an ad on the radio about Obama’s “third term.” Because I’m not nuts, I dismissed it as a cruel joke on right-wingers, an exploitation of their paranoia. Then today I found this advertisement on the Drudge Report:

obama third term

Okay, I couldn’t resist. I clicked. I now know that because of “new economic forces”—it turns out, somewhat disappointingly, to only be “the oil and natural gas boom“—Barack Obama will preside over such wealth creation and give away so many “handouts,” that we, us, you and me, will demand a third, possibly a fourth, term. Yep, in exchange for a few bucks, we’ll install our own dictator! I’m not kidding:

No one cheers more for a tyrant than those he enslaves. And so it will be in 2016, when the crowd will demand yet another Obama presidency.

The man behind this, of course, is selling something. In a mere 14,376 words (again, I’m not kidding), he explains how he can “help” us by showing us “how to position” ourselves and “profit” from the “massive economic changes” that are happening. And it’ll only cost us 99 bucks!

Small price to pay for enjoying Obama’s long reign in financial comfort. But come to think of it, if Obama is going to be so good to the people that we want to keep him around for a couple of extra terms, if he is going to make us prosperous or give us shit, why should I pay this guy 99 bucks for a newsletter?

I’ll just wait until I get my Obama money!

6 Comments

  1. Who needs comedies when we have the GOP? With every new right wing conspiracy, I can only shake my head and laugh a little harder. Did you know for every RW conspiracy, a conservative angel gets its wings?

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  2. Treeske

     /  December 6, 2012

    I’m with the pastor!

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  3. I’m still laughing over the cell-phone clip. The whole context was just hilarious! “Love one another, dammit!” 😆 😆 😆

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