Second Amendment Jihad Comes To Jasper County Missouri

In what may be a futile exercise, Democrats today introduced legislation to bring at least partial sanity to our gun laws.

But because of the gun manufacturers’ outsized influence on our politics, only the mildest of reforms are expected to have even a chance of becoming law. Gun manufacturers are, of course, the reason the National Rifle Association now exists, an organization that has abandoned common sense in favor of a religious zeal normally reserved for jihadists across the sea.

If you doubt that “jihad” label as applied to the NRA and its mission, then you missed what an NRA board member, Ted Nugent, said recently:

I’m part of a very great experiment in self-government where we the people determine our own pursuit of happiness and our own individual freedom and liberty not to be confused with the Barack Obama gang who believes in we the sheeple and actually is attempting to re-implement the tyranny of King George that we escaped from in 1776. And if you want another Concord Bridge, I got some buddies. 

That reference to Concord’s north bridge and the beginnings of the Revolutionary War is nothing if it isn’t a zealot’s call for a holy war. Nugent—a tough-talking gun-toter who wasn’t so tough when it came time to serve in Vietnam and face gun-toting communists—also said:

…here is what is wrong with America today. We have a president, and everybody better write this down, and memorize this. The president of the United States goes to the Vietnam Memorial Wall and pretends to honor 58,000 American heroes who died fighting communism and then he hires, appoints and associates with communists. He pretends to pay honor to men who died fighting communism, and then he hangs out with, hires and appoints communists. He is an evil dangerous man who hates America and hates freedom. And we need to fix this as soon as possible.

How NRA board member Nugent intends to “fix” the fact that President Obama has four more years of governance isn’t exactly clear, but he does have “some buddies” — mujahideen?—with guns, so draw your own conclusion.

And speaking of jihad, here’s how jihad-friendly reported on a peculiar speech by the NRA’s chief fanatic, Wayne LaPierre, speaking before something called the Weatherby Foundation International Hunting and Conversation Dinner on January 22:


The Breitbart article explains (italics in the original):

Of these rights–the right to keep and bear arms and the right to self-defense–LaPierre said: “No government gave [them] to us and no government can take them away.”

LaPierre made it clear that Obama doesn’t like to hear this because it shows that the 2nd Amendment is not in flux but is fixed, and the rights it protects are beyond the reach of government.

It might surprise some folks that God—who for his mass-killing normally prefers fire and brimstone over, say, semi-automatic assault rifles—actually endorses a view of the Second Amendment that would allow human mass-murderers to get their hands on killing machines and high-capacity magazines that most Americans believe ought to be banned.

And it might surprise a lot of local readers that the view that God is a supporter of people-killing guns is shared by at least one local cop, Sheriff Randee Kaiser:

I can assure you that as sheriff of Jasper County, I will be an advocate for the sacred rights of citizens of this county.

Sacred“? Hmm. Definition: “dedicated or set apart for the service or worship of a deity.” Gotcha, Sheriff.

Joplin mostly sits in Jasper County, where Sheriff Kaiser, moonlighting as a theologian, essentially pronounces that the Almighty has ordained,

Thou shalt bear arms!

Kaiser has his reasons for opposing those who would attempt to bring common sense to our gun laws:

Passing new gun laws only affects those who follow them. As we have seen from recent violent incidents involving guns, the people who engage in these horrific acts have not been identified as law-abiding citizens.

Let me see. We shouldn’t pass new gun laws because only the law-abiding will follow them, which suggests that all laws are really unnecessary. I wonder if the good sheriff thinks that way about, say, murder laws?

I have an idea: Let’s get rid of our laws against homicide! After all, as the Jesuitical Jasper County lawman said,

Passing new [insert here your law of choice] laws only affects those who follow them.

Yes! Holy anarchy!

Allahu Akbar!



  1. Anonymous

     /  January 24, 2013

    Duane, I cannot help but to think of how the Republicans and the Right Wing Media Machines have characterized Union members for their behavior vs the way they side with the threats made by the Nugents and the Breitbarts of the world. Union members scuffling with adversaries were endlessly belittled on FOX news, but not a word about threats to start killing fellow Americans. Talk about “thugs”, as they like to say.Glenn Beck actually encourages another civil war. F—— amazing! Did they not learn anything from the past election and do they think people do not see through this?



    • That’s a great point, Kabe. There are a lot of conservatives who routinely refer to union leaders as “thugs,” thinking nothing of the fact that all they are doing is representing the interests of working people. But representatives of the gun industry can say all kinds of nasty things and they are called patriotic Americans by the same conservatives.

      Let’s hope that Americans will see through it all in two years.


  2. The twisted logic of “When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns” has always left me in shock and awe. When murder is outlawed, only outlaws will commit murder. When theft is outlawed, only outlaws will steal. You could tick off the entire Ten Commandments and the entire body of western law using that logic, to prove that ALL LAWS ARE UNNECESSARY. Jesus wept, as they say.


  3. RDG,

    It does appear that many believe the tersely worded Second Amendment came down from Mt. Sinai with Moses. Since the sheriff shares this religious take on what was once a late 18th century secular solution to colonial unease concerning the tyrannical misuse of large standing armies (and potential slave revolt), conclusions of Holy Matrimony will be more joyful for those who spice up their “Amen!” with wild spurts of automatic rifle fire. Should a flower girl or great aunt become celebratory collateral damage, I am sure armed attendees need not worry of facing arrest. Confused Constitutionalists know that a high-velocity round, like the Lord, moves in mysterious ways (Ephesians 2:1-10). I do not want anyone thinking that I believe a high-velocity round could out-juke Jesus in a foot race to the end zone. I am merely making a ridiculous statement, like those who claim baseball bats are just as dangerous as semi-automatic weapons with 100 round magazines. Oddly enough, there are never reports of accidental ball bat shootings; or crochet mallet massacres.


    • Well put, sir! I raise my defensive hammer in your honor.


    • Juan,

      Isn’t it amazing how many people really think that the Constitution, and its first ten amendments, are some kind of holy writ? One look at the Electoral College (and how today’s Republicans are attempting to further delegitimate it) and any rational person would have to conclude that the God who handed down the Constitution to mankind is one strange cat.

      And speaking of strange cats, when Jesus returns someday to bring holy hell to unbelievers, he will in fact have a rather large ball bat, which leads me to an important theological question:

      Can God make a ball bat too large to swing?



      • Only Soriano knows the answer to that one; maybe Dick Allen. I believe Satan makes putters. God would never inflict such punishment on mankind.


  4. Thanks, Brad. Keep up the good work.


  5. Gene Garman

     /  January 27, 2013

    And, in keeping with the significance of the Second Amendment to our supreme law, “well regulated.”


  6. Jane Reaction

     /  January 29, 2013

    Jane read the Bible passage that Juan mentioned. It clearly endorses unions. It is written in Ephesians 1:10, ” we were created in union, for good works, which God prepared in advance.” Go Teamsters.


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