Dumb Republicans

Conservative Republicans, it being their nature, say and do some dumb things. Take, for instance, this one:

A Michigan Republican with a criminal record for breaking into cars and masturbating is urging residents to move out of state to avoid the “homosexual agenda.”

You’ll be happy to know that this guy is running for a seat in the Michigan legislature. And, if you live in Michigan, you’ll be happy to know that he thinks “as long as there are those that love God here, we can win souls and see God move in this city and state.” Yes, in case you didn’t know, legislating is all about winning souls watching God “move.”

And speaking of God moving, mysteriously he was moved yesterday to reveal to the Huffington Post a video he shot of Joni Ernst, the testicle-hating senatorial candidate from Iowa, telling folks at some gun rally in 2012 that she packed heat and reserved the right to use it against “the government, should they decide that my rights are no longer important.” As many have now pointed out, this is the same wacky ball-hater that wants to castrate the rights of women to control their own reproductive health.

But even slightly more sober conservatives say and do dumb things. Chris Christie recently said to his Chamber of Commerce pals that he is “tired of hearing about the minimum wage.” Then, after he realized how dumb it was to say something so dumb, he said something equally dumb:

My comments are never almost universally interpreted the way I mean them.

And we can see why.

But some Republican conservatives not only say dumb things, they say dumb and dangerous things, things that scare and mislead people. Rand Paul, plagiarist and self-certified ophthalmologist, said recently that the Obama administration has inaccurately described Ebola to the public and has “tried to downplay the transmissibility” of the disease, when, in the opinion of the self-certified ophthalmologist, Ebola “is something that appears to be very easy to catch.”

Man, that level of numb-headed irresponsibility makes Chris Christie look good, which is no small feat.

Speaking of small feats, there is my congressman Ozark Billy Long. Let me show you a still from a campaign commercial that is airing here in Hooterville, and I should tell you this commercial was actually “Approved by Billy Long. Paid for by Billy Long for Congress”:

billy long commercial

Shouldn’t the Democrat running against Long, Jim Evans, be running that ad? I mean, Long is bragging that he did something 56 times that failed. He was recently accused of being an ineffective legislator and it turns out his own ad proves it! Brilliant stuff that.

On the darker side of local politics around these parts, I present to you a scene from a campaign commercial running here in Joplin put out by Rep. Lynn Jenkins. She is a Republican from Kansas who represents my old home town and who, in August of 2009, told Kansans that “Republicans are struggling right now to find the great white hope.” Here is a screen shot of the ad I saw last night:

jenkins ad against wakefield

Just who is that woman in the ad? And who is that shifty and scary looking negro standing behind her? Well, the woman is Democrat Margie Wakefield, who happens to be Jenkins’ opponent and who happens to be giving Jenkins a run for her money. And I think you all know who the other guy is. He is The Scary Negro himself. And, man, doesn’t he really look like he’s up to no good? Maybe he has a gun in her back or maybe he’s about to stick a shiv in her. Maybe he’s about to rob her and take her money or, God forbid, something worse like force her to support ObamaCare. What other reason would he be standing so close and looking so creepy?

Sad thing is, this ad doesn’t really qualify as another dumb thing conservative Republicans are saying or doing these days. It’s actually pretty smart, in a Southern strategy political sense, to remind people in mostly rural Kansas that The Scary Negro is out there, ready to do something ugly. But whatever ugly thing that Barack Obama might do between now and the end of his term, it won’t be nearly as ugly as that ad.


  1. But Rand Paul is Time’s “Most Interesting Man in Politics”. Wow! How the mighty have fallen. Time — like NPR — continues its descent into sub-mediocrity. Rick Scott, Nathan Deal and Scott Walker are neck and neck with their Democratic Party opponents. All the Dems have to do to win is go to the polls. But will they? Dumb Americans is more like it.


    • The problem with attacking the electorate in general, is that one could say that those dumb Americans elected Obama twice. I agree completely that our side would win every national, and many state and local, elections if our sympathetic voters would register and go to the polls and vote. But, for reasons I don’t completely understand, they sit out mid-terms. They’re just not as motivated to vote, possibly because they see the presidency as far more important than Senate and House elections, which is a false notion.

      In any case, I saw on TV a TIME editor pushing that Paul piece. These days, mostly all you have to do to be interesting on the GOP side is say something more outrageous than the last Republican. But in polite circles like TIME runs in, Paul gets way too much credit for, say, his so-called attempt to woo black voters. But all he is doing is what sensible Republicans used to do, before the rise of Ronald Reagan and the Tea Party right. That’s interesting only in that the GOP has abandoned its previous positions on civil rights and the like. What would be more interesting would be a Republican candidate who would stand up and tell his party that its anti-science, anti-environmental, anti-choice, anti-worker, anti-food stamp, anti-ObamaCare, anti-regulation extremism is not only making his party an unelectable national party, but it is hurting the country. Now, that kind of Republican would be interesting.


  2. I saw Ozark Billy Long’s ad just yesterday. Did a double-take. Those free grits out in ‘Vegas have added to the suet around his neck. Whoda thunk it possible? His aw shucks approach lacked only a straw hanging from his mouth. Says he also hates political commercials ” . . . like this one.” But, he made it anyway. The message is, “Hey, I’m just like you”, and the problem is, in too many cases around here, he’s right.


    • Ahh! Very funny! I especially like the image of a straw hanging from his mouth. Wish I would have thought of that and posted a doctored pic.


  3. The truth level of political advertisements is getting worse and worse. Jenkins is cherry-picking her votes in Congress, stating that she went against her party to vote for one female-friendly piece of legislation. All her other anti-female, anti-middle-class, and pro-Koch votes, of which her Democratic opponent should be informing Kansas voters, are not making the air waves. Another Kansan, the neo-nut Sam Brownback, wants to plow on with his mission to bankrupt the state. At least his opponent has some good ads, especially with law enforcement personnel and the race car in reverse, that should influence voters. But it is Kansas, and Jenkins’ and Roberts’ use of hate-filled Obama ads may prevail.

    Locally, the sight of Billy Long in a campaign ad is ridiculous. Our do-nothing legislator, who will only appear at business-friendly locations, such as the Chamber of Commerce, will continue his campaign of absence, knowing that many voters will vote for him because he has a “R” after his name. What is happening to our middle-America states? Missouri, Kansas, and Oklahoma have state legislatures and Congressional representatives who are real jokes, but they continue to be elected. Why did Dorothy ever want to return to this insanity?


    • ansonburlingame

       /  October 25, 2014

      “You can keep your current plan”

      “That is a line that Assad must not cross” (or words to that effect)

      “The video made them do it”

      “Ft Hood was workplace violence” (or at least supporting such a position)

      I suppose I could fill a few pages with such remarks or postions taken by our President. And like it or not that his why his approval rating is down and probably going farther down. It is alos why Dems in close races this fall will stay as far away for the President as possible.

      But at least is he is not fat as OBL. Just that one picture is enough to not vote for him (OBL). “Fat, dumb and happy (as long as he gets elected)”!!!



    • ansonburlingame

       /  October 25, 2014

      Where would Dorthy have gone instead? California, NY, Oregon, etc.???



      • Iceland, Sweden, Norway, some place with single payer Healthcare. She will need therapy after leaving Oz, and Brownbackistan is too crazy for her.


    • I did get a notice on my fence post that Billy Long will be at the Newton County Republican Central Committee’s “Free Bean Feed” on Saturday. That ought to gas him up for the finish line next Tuesday! Just wouldn’t want to ride back with him to Springfield that night. That could be dangerous.


  4. Bill

     /  October 26, 2014

    LOL, that’s funny Billy Long claiming he voted to repeal Obamacare 56 times just barely a month after he voted to fully fund Obamacare and Planned Parenthood–voting alongside Nancy Pelosi. The problem with Southwest Missouri is its voters are lazy and he knows they will never find out that truth. http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/09/18/John-Boehner-Joins-Nancy-Pelosi-To-Pass-Bill-That-Funds-Planned-Parenthood-and-Obamacare


  5. ansonburlingame

     /  October 27, 2014

    First Jim,

    What you are really suggesting is for America to become a country of say 10 (or so) Million people, not 320 Million that are as diverse as different can be.


    So SW Missouri voters are just dumb, right? If true then better education is the solution, right? Or is it that our dumb voters here just listen to the wrong sound bites on TV?

    But never fear. The really intelligent voters in CA will keep MO afloat, right. Hmmm? Compare the financial condition of the two States and then tell me who has dumb voters.



  6. ansonburlingame

     /  October 29, 2014


    After completing a grueling 3 months in Rickover’s HQ, restudying a reactor plant before assuming command of a ship, a classmate observed “We have gone one-on-one with Victory and Defeat, and are now unable to distinguish between the two”!!

    Welcome to national (and local) politics.



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