A Moonly Man From Missouri

Midway between Joplin and Springfield you will find Missouri’s House District 157. Interstate 44 cuts right through the rural paradise.

Representing this rustic district is an extremist Republican farmer (you guessed that, didn’t you?) named Mike Moon. In a special election in 2013 that enabled him to get his foot in the legislative door, Lunar Mike got a whopping 3,668 votes, compared to 2,507 for the Democrat. He trounced his 2014 opponent 76% to 24%. Apparently the locals liked either his style or his substance. Let me give you an idea of what kind of substance Lunar Mike is made of:

Loves Jesus. A lot.

Homeschools his five kids.

Filed an article of impeachment against our Democratic Governor.

He says“I do not believe that global warming exists.”

He believes that “the responsibility of providing welfare to persons who have true needs” belongs “to churches, companies, and individuals.”

He offers this as his position on “State Sovereignty”: “We do not need the permission of the Federal government to take action as a sovereign state.”

As far as a woman’s reproductive rights, he is emphatic: “Abortion is wrong!” (I invite you to follow this link and look at his reasoning; it is nothing short of Onionesque.)

Now we come to ObamaCare, courtesy of RawStory today:

State Rep. Mike Moon sponsored a resolution that calls on lawmakers to “insist that each member of the Missouri Congressional delegation endeavor with ‘manly firmness’ and resolve to totally and completely repeal the Affordable Care Act, settling for no less than a full repeal.”

Reaching back to the Declaration of Independence and our spat with King George III, Lunar Mike determined that “manly firmness” was appropriate language to apply to Missouri’s three women in Congress, two of whom have voted thousands upon thousands upon thousands of times to repeal the Affordable Care Act.

The other unmanly member of Missouri’s congressional delegation, Democrat Claire McCaskill, handled Lunar Mike with womanly firmness:

“I don’t think you prove your manhood by kicking folks off their health coverage and once again letting insurance companies discriminate against women and sick people.”

McCaskill apparently knows nothing of Republican manhood. Doing such things is exactly how today’s Republicans, man and woman, prove their manliness.

In any case, McCaskill’s press release pointed out that Moon’s flacid manhood “would strip more than 200,000 Missourians of health insurance coverage, and—according to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office—would raise the national deficit by billions of dollars.”

But Lunar Mike continued flexing his turgid limb and was unmoved by the plight of a couple hundred thousand of his fellow Missourians:

We just want them to know, every man and lady who is representing us, that we are demanding, as citizens of Missouri, that Obamacare be repealed and make it clear we don’t want a replacement.

Manly. No, Moonly.

 

2 Comments

  1. Bbob

     /  February 10, 2015

    Glad he is in Missouri, not Kansas—although we have some legislators who could be his twin.

    Like

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