How A Joplin Globe Columnist Reveals Why National Republicans Treat Obama Like An Uppity Negro

It is now official. The Scary Negro will have to stay seated in the back of the constitutional bus:

Senate Republicans on Tuesday launched an unprecedented blockade of President Barack Obama’s yet-to-be-named Supreme Court pick, saying they won’t give any nominee a hearing or even meet with the candidate.

obama is a communistLet’s please stop shying away from what that word “unprecedented” means in the context of Obama’s pigmented presidency and even before. From the beginning, he has suffered one unprecedented Republican-led assault on his dignity after another, whether it be absurd doubts about his birthplace and citizenship, or irrational claims that he doesn’t love his country and wants to destroy it, or embarrassing cheers for that infamous shout of “You lie!” during a speech to Congress.

He has been called “lazy” by a Romney surrogate. He has been called “uppity” by a Georgia congressman, and so too his wife by the most popular right-wing radio host in history. There has been constant talk of impeachment, constant charges that he is a Constitution-trampling, lawless dictator. Those and many more personal affronts were either authored by or quietly endorsed by national figures in the Republican Party.

So, what goes on in the minds of people so poisoned by hatred for Barack Obama?

Let’s take a frightening peek into one of those minds, one of those minds that Republican leaders play to when they do such unprecedented things like denying a hearing to President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee. This mind does not belong to a national figure, thank God. He is a local writer here in Hooterville, a regular columnist for the Joplin Globe. And this local columnist has referred to President Obama as a “monkey” (full explanation here) and yet he is still featured prominently in the paper. In the past, he has used Obama’s name in connection with the word “boy,” and that bothered no honcho at the Joplin Globe. He still refers to our president as Dear Leader, a reference to a dead North Korean communist dictator whose crimes against humanity can’t be numbered. Again, that witless reference is acceptable to his newspaper employer.

After Obama’s reelection in 2012, this regular Joplin Globe columnist called the president an “asshole” and “unAmerican.” He tweeted:

caldwell and obama destroying americaNow, I don’t have the credentials to accurately diagnose what exactly is wrong with someone who would write something so utterly stupid. But The Scary Negro’s reelection was so devastating to white conservatives, that at I am forced, through sheer decency, to at least pity their poor, broken souls.

Following that humiliating election defeat of a lily-white Romney, our lily-white local Joplin Globe columnist lamented that “we left God and he has left us as a country.” He tweeted, “unfortunately life as we all knew it ended…with a minion media sponsored coup by ignorant idiots.” A coup? And just who were those idiots? Why, they were sick Democrats of course:

caldwell and democrats disabledIn case you have never visited there, this kind of sophomoric nonsense passes for brilliance in the strange and nasty conservative Twitterverse. Here is more right-wing brilliance from the local Joplin Globe columnist:

caldwell and the enemies of AmericaYep. That’s so clever. And so insightful. Apparently it is such brilliance that qualifies you to be a regular columnist for our local paper of record. As does this bit of nastiness:

caldwell go fuck yourselves

For the uninitiated, “Argofyourselves” translates, “Ah, go fuck yourselves.” Isn’t that classy stuff, all you selfish bastards? And very worthy of a local Joplin Globe columnist who advertises his Christian faith and his love for his fellow countrymen.

I can and will go on. The Joplin columnist has written that “the world hates the Jews and Obama’s right in there withem.” That despite the fact that Obama wants to increase security assistance to Israel beyond the $3.1 billion we’re already giving them every year. And responding to the 2012 election fact that “Obama won Hispanics 71-27,” our local columnist said, “Racists want what racists want. We pay they take.” By “we” he means, of course, “we white folks” who are supporting all those greedy “brown folks.”

In order to try to understand how profound is the hatred of The Scary Negro, and why national Republicans continue to exploit white racial angst, I want to take you back to November 6, 2012, that great day when Obama was reelected. I want to show you how Obama-inspired hate began to ooze out of our local columnist right in front of God, the Globe, and everyone.

Let’s first start with his pleas to the Almighty Whitey at 4:46am:

caldwell prayer

As it turned out, either Dear Lord thought voters ought to make up their own minds on election day or Dear Lord guided the voters toward Barack Hussein Obama. But so early in the morning, our local columnist didn’t yet know what the will of the voters or the Lord would be. Three hours after that Twitter prayer, hope was still alive:

caldwell put god back in this house

Who knew that God had been homeless since 2009? Where the hell had he been living? In an alley behind Trump Tower?

Anyway, seemingly credible evidence of an Obama defeat was beginning to appear at 2:14pm that day, and it was starting to look like Dear Lord had heard our local columnist’s prayer:

caldwell before election results

You can feel the excitement building! America—excuse me, AMERICA—is coming home! Which would mean that Whites and God will get their House back! But, dammit, at 7:38pm some Almighty Whitey doubts were starting to creep in, and perhaps the earlier optimism was nothing but premature ejaculation:

caldwell on election night

Uh-oh. That didn’t sound very Christianly, did it?  Obama voters didn’t even have one ounce of decency? Or at least one working brain cell? Man. That’s getting close to hating on your fellow man. And by 10:04 in the evening, after even Karl Rove had finally figured out that Obama would live another four years in the White’s House, the Obama-inspired hate was totally unloosed:

caldwell go fuck yourselves2Praise God and the Joplin Globe for making this man a regular on its opinion pages! What Bible Belt class! How proud the locals should be of their Jesus-loving, editorial-writing hero. But our local columnist wasn’t done that night. Besides blaming Ohio voters, he gave a special shout-out to journalists:

journalists are traitors

You’d think that a man who once bragged to me that he had an IQ of 140, could at least correctly spell “traitors” on such a special occasion. But, dammit, he was pissed! God had let him down! This was no goddamned spelling bee! It was the end of the world!

There is this right-wing Twitterer out there who calls himself “White Fright,” for obvious reasons if you read through his tweets. Just to give you a taste, White Fright recently tweeted: “When Trump is elected, I’m going to act just like all the obnoxious blacks did with Obama, and call him ‘MY President.'” Nice expression of white outrage, huh?

Well, it turns out that White Fright was tweeting back in 2012 on election night, when Obama blew White Fright’s mind by beating Mittens. And it turns out our thoughtful and God-fearing Joplin Globe columnist, patriot to the core, had something inspiring to say in response to White Fright’s opinion of the 2012 results:
caldwell white fright response

It is more than ironic that our local Jesus-loving columnist would, in his moment of mental and spiritual agony, turn to atheist Ayn Rand’s goofy white fictional character to express his outrage at four more years of The Scary Negro. But given how much space Mr. Obama occupies in the heads of white conservatives, it is understandable. There is something about our president that brings out the stupid, reveals the nastiness, in white conservatives.

I wonder what it is?



  1. Ben Field

     /  February 24, 2016


    Thanks for a good laugh. I swear every time I see Caldwell’s picture, I immediately think of “Baby Huey”, a cartoon character that just wanted to be one of the guys. He would always screw up by attempting his efforts full throttle. Geoffy wants to be Rush so badly, but comes off looking as a complete ass. Baby Huey does have good intent, not so much with Caldwell.


  2. Anonymous

     /  February 24, 2016

    And that America is that!!! Well said!


  3. Ben Field

     /  February 25, 2016

    I cannot look at the picture he uses without “Baby Huey” coming to mind. Huey was a cartoon duck from my day that always tried to fit in and be one of the guys, but usually failed miserably. I think Caldwell wants to be Rush but just doesn’t get it. To be fair, the diaper wearing duck had good intentions, Geoff, not so much. I suspect he was bullied as a child is why he is so obnoxious.


    • Just why he is so obnoxious is beyond my pay grade, but I like the Bad Baby Huey reference! You hit on something when you mention Limbaugh. I have said that same thing for years. He seems to sort of fashion himself as a local Rush. The difference is, though, that Rush, despite his hate-filled views, can at times be a little clever in his presentation. Geoff, as you might say, not so much.


  4. henrygmorgan

     /  February 25, 2016

    Duane: Excellent take-down of Joplin’s Donald Trump. I wrote on your blog some years back that Caldwell believes that those who disagree with him are not only wrong, they are also stupid, evil, and hate America. He has compared President Obama to a monkey and Hitler, he has accused him of having as his goal the destruction of America, and he charges the President with consciously working constantly to destroy any vestige of Christianity in order to substitute his own Islamic religion. He has probably done more to stain the image of Republicans than anyone else in this community.

    To my mind, his greatest, most obnoxious offense so far was his essay in which he called Jim Wheeler a coward. Jim, a man who spent his entire adult life serving the country, from a start at the United States Naval Academy to serving as an Engineer helping to keep submarines operational, is called a coward by an ignorant local asshole who never served a day in the military and probably never served the country in any other way that involved any sort of personal sacrifice.

    Whenever I have talked with anyone at the Globe about why they continue to employ him, I am told that he is a conservative voice serving the citizens of a conservative part of a conservative state. Fine, I say, but why this loser? Could they not find a conservative anywhere in this part of the state who would be a far better conservative voice than this guy? What process was employed? Did they appoint a committee to look for a good representative? Did they find him highly recommended by respected local conservatives? Or, far more likely, did they hire him because he’s there? Where is the line that he must not cross lest he be dismissed? Is there one? Who is responsible for monitoring his work?
    Has the Globe received complaints about his articles? How many? What disposition did they receive?

    One last, and incredibly obvious question: Did they consider, while looking for a conservative voice to represent that part of the community that they should also look for a liberal voice to represent that part of the community? I know that liberals are in the minority, but in the 45 years that I have resided in Joplin, every election seems to show a 2 to 1 edge for Republicans. That means that 1/3 of the voters were Democrats. Do they not deserve a voice, or is the Globe designed to serve the majority only? Did they perhaps consider allotting just a 1/3 of their space to the Democratic point of view?

    I am glad to say that most of those of whom I have asked these questions, friends of mine, some of them former students, seem to have no answers to these questions. If they have no power to answer the question, who does? Does he or she realize that the Globe is not serving the community very well? Do they realize that Caldwell’s voice now represents the Globe, that readers will judge the paper by his voice?

    Duane, I apologize for this long, bitter rant, but here is my final question.

    Do you think we will ever get any answers?

    Bud Morgan


    • Bud,

      No need to apologize. I loved your rant, especially the Trump reference!

      I appreciate the fact that I’m not the only one who sees that Caldwell “has probably done more to stain the image of Republicans than anyone else in this community.” I could write several more pieces—with much more Caldwell-created material—about just how much he has stained that image, about what a jerk he really is, but I know that, just like The Donald, it is attention that Caldwell craves. I don’t really want to feed the beast, if you know what I mean. But maybe I’ll just let it all out one day, though. Just for the hell of it.

      And I’m glad you pointed out the unforgivable slander of Jim Wheeler. That set me off big time. A long time ago, I pointed that slander out to the editor of the paper, along with a number of other offensive things that Caldwell said about President Obama, me, and others (including the incident in the 90s where he called 14-year-old Chelsea Clinton ugly; for some reason, I just can’t get over that), all done with the mentality and immaturity of a Middle School bully. But apparently that sort of behavior is just what the pooh-bahs at the Globe appreciate about him. Because God knows it can’t be his writing ability, which I have often called pedestrian, just to be kind about it, nor can it be his originality, since the tripe he writes can be found anywhere within the conservative colon of the Internet.

      As far as whether there are more representative conservative voices in this community, I have heard others ask that same question: Why him, of all the people available? Maybe it is the case that there just aren’t any conservative voices around here who speak any other way than in Mini-Me Limbaugh mode. Maybe it turns out that he is the smartest of the bunch, which says something about the conservatives around here. I don’t know. It’s a mystery known only to Allah, I suppose.

      Finally, I don’t think we will ever get any answers from the Globe. I know I never received any years ago when I was blogging and writing for the paper, all the while being assaulted in print by the puerile asshole. And when all the bloggers were unceremoniously given the left foot of fellowship (supposedly for budgetary reasons), I would never have dreamed that one day Caldwell would become a regular columnist for the paper. I can only conclude that the integrity of the paper means nothing and its bottom line—feeding local slop to the Globe’s right-wing readers to keep them happy subscribers—means everything.

      Paper of record, indeed.



  5. Duane, your explicit memoir brings back a load of bad memories. I’m glad you did it but I fear it will not change many minds here in Hooterville. The conservative mind has cement bulwarks, as evidenced by a brief encounter I had about politics with an acquaintance at the YMCA, he being very conservative. Also religious, because his workout tee announces it. We are both aware of our respective political leanings because he reads my occasional letter to the editor. He asked me how I was tending so far and I told him Hillary, because I didn’t think Bernie was electable. How about you? I asked. Trump. Trump all the way!

    I was somewhat taken aback, thinking that The Donald ought not appeal to the religious right so much, what with his foul language, personal attacks, three marriages, arrogance, and adherence to the rules of greed. Wrong.

    In a brief follow-up he made clear that immigration was the driving factor in his choice. Illegal immigrants and migrants are taking our jobs, he said. When I suggested that Americans might not be interested in menial jobs like field work and chicken processing, he said “Then let ’em starve. They need to learn to come up the hard way like you and I did!”

    It’s looking like he just might get his wish. Ouch. What I see on the horizon in Trump World is nothing less than isolationism, thus, how Mexico pays for the Wall. When global jobs come back to America, the landscape is likely to start looking like Cuba. If this happens, will my acquaintance come to his senses? I predict not. As in religion, I think he takes his politics with a faith unencumbered by reality.


    • Bad memories, indeed! For both of us.

      In any case, all great points about your YMCA acquaintance and his Christianly embrace of Trump. Funny thing that he points out Trump’s stand on immigration as his major reason for supporting him. You might mention to him sometime, in between workouts, that his Lord and Savior is planning on casting into “the eternal fire” anyone who commits the following offenses, found in Matthew 25:

      For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Treeske

     /  March 12, 2016

    Caldwell lives in Hooterville between the lead shatpiles? No more needs to be said! He’s one of the affected.


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