An old friend of this blog, Juan Don, wrote in to say,
Thanks to the colorful Scots, I found a new moniker for Trump: “ferret wearing shitgibbon.”
Juan was referring to the response Trump received to the following tweet:
As anyone paying two minutes worth of attention to the Brexit vote knew, Scotland voted overwhelming to Remain in the European Union. And now there is a real chance that Scotland may itself exit from Great Britain. Trump, of course, was interested only in promoting his new golf course and, as usual, didn’t have the slightest idea what he was talking about. And the Scots and other EU-supporting Brits were quick to let him know. Actually, my friend Juan didn’t quote in full the best response to that typically-Trumpish tripe-tweet. The entire inventive invective, tweeted by “Hamfisted Bun Vendor,” was:
Now, there will be a lot of insults, all deserved, hurled at Trump from now until the possible end of the American Experiment, but “tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon” will probably never be topped. The hashtag, #shitgibbon, is sort of trending on Twitter. It has generated a new entry on Urban Dictionary. Hamfisted Bun Vendor, who is actually a blogger from South West England, has more than a thousand new followers so far. Good for him.
Bloviating flesh bag.
Mangled apricot hellbeast.
WITLESS FUCKING COCKSPLAT!
That represents the King’s English in the age of Trump.
Oh, and speaking of COCKSPLATS!—made famous by British writer Tim Footman—we have Tennessee Senator Bob Corker, who obviously wants to be Shitgibbon’s running mate. Regarding Trump’s totally bizarre, completely self-serving, utterly clueless news conference in Turnberry, Scotland—featuring Swastika golf balls!—Corker told CNN’s Jake Tapper:
I thought it was one of his best events. I’m sorry—I know I’m an outlier.
You think? Saying he watched the event live, Corker went on to explain himself:
I thought his answers—I know he began talking about the development itself, he knew reporters were going to ask him about ‘Brexit’—I thought it was one of his best events, and I didn’t take it that he was—he was giving an example, which is obvious, that when the currency fluctuates as it does, more Americans are going to be able to travel to the U.K. more cheaply; some of their exports may go at greater value. I thought it was really just demonstrating, you know, an anecdotal statement relative to its effects. So, again, I thought it was one of his better events.
That kind of sound judgment will no doubt earn Corker a discount on the “incredible suites” at Turnberry, along with the privilege of running with the tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon who, on behalf of white people everywhere, wants to take back the White’s House.
Thus, how scary is American politics right now? There is Trump. And there is Corker—who has close ties with a company that is under investigation by the FBI and SEC and that happens to own Joplin’s Northpark Mall—who has embraced Trump and who is, uh, the chairman of the Senate’s Foreign Relations committee.
There is a tiny bit of good news. A new poll came out on Sunday:
While it is quite troubling that at least 4 out of 10 Americans would vote for a shitgibbon, and while it is quite disturbing that a powerful U.S. Senator is sucking up to a shitgibbon, there is some hope that a majority of Americans will reject our version of Brexit.