Two Strange Cats

In case you missed Trump’s little speech he read to black church folks in Detroit this morning, you ought to know at least three things.

One, the speech began with a lie. Trump, who is one of the strangest cats on Earth, said he wrote it himself. We all know the guy who has, all these years, embraced racist practices and rhetoric, didn’t write it himself. But since Trump can’t open his quasi-anus mouth without telling a lie, it really isn’t surprising that, even in the presumptive presence of God, he began his remarks with a whopper. We all know, of course, that if God were truly present in that church that he would have vaporized the Orange Christian for bearing false witness, but that is another issue.

Two, you ought to know that the guy who allowed Trump to rent for free his church and congregants of color for a campaign prop gave the GOP nominee a prayer shawl that, Bishop Wayne T. Jackson said, has God’s “anointing” all over it. The Bishop knows that the shawl has God’s anointing all over it because the Bishop says he fasted and prayed all over it himself before giving it to the guy who, as someone said this morning, is the Grand Wizard of the birther movement. So, apparently God’s anointing, whatever that is and whatever that is worth, is now on the shoulders of the birthers’ Grand Wizard. Here, look how nice it fits him:

trump prayer shawl

The third thing you ought to know is that Bishop Jackson, besides giving out prayer garments with God-stuff magically prayed into them or rubbed on them or somehow clinging to the threads, has other weird habits that make him, like Trump, one of the strangest cats on Earth:

I’m not sure, but I would guess if Bishop Jackson had asked Trump to get on the floor so he could personally plant some of God’s goodness on his booty, Trump would have done it. And you now what? It wouldn’t have cost him a single vote. The press would have reported:

Trump “softening” by allowing Bishop Jackson to mount him during holy ceremony. Meanwhile, Hillary’s emails continue to raise questions.

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3 Comments

  1. Interesting ritual. Seems to me that it’s like a home-grown version of baptism, but with some inane sexual activity thrown in.

    Something there is in the general human condition that wants authority regardless of how absurd the instruction. For the television game show, Family Feud, contestants are trained in competitive pre-games to display oddly wild enthusiasm and impetuous guessing with sexual innuendo. Works consistently. Like Steve Harvey, the host, charismatics choose the occupation with success. Shaman, medicine man, diviner, exorcist, fortune-teller, medium, witch-doctor, sorcerer, wizard, thaumaturge. Donald just might find a place for this guy at Trump U. He would fit right in.

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  2. Anonymous

     /  September 3, 2016

    OMG! How strange and funny! America, we in a heap of trouble!

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  3. Anonymous

     /  September 4, 2016

    @Jim,
    This is NOT a baptism! This is a dress rehearsal for demon removal, which is always done as you came in the world, naked. The actual removal is done at the Priest’s home. Not sure which orifice Trump wants the demon to exit, both are painful, but always keep your eyes closed!

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