Remarks And Asides, 5/18/2017

I just heard Tr-mp say, during a tiny press conference, that “We don’t have healthcare in this country.” Damn. We’re going down faster than even I thought we would. All the doctors and nurses have fled the country!

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Trump also said there was no collusion with the Russians, but that he could only speak for himself. Since he has a spotless record of speaking for himself so truthfully, why don’t we just drop the whole thing and move on? Tax cuts for the rich, anyone?

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Roger Ailes is dead. May he rest in fair and balanced peace, much like the fair and balanced journalism and sexual assault he oversaw at Fox. In other words, he’d better hope there is no hell.

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Now we finally have a special counsel appointed who will, hopefully, figure out how many Tr-mpers were involved, besides Tr-mp himself, with the Russians during last year’s election. Tr-mp, on cue, tweeted: “This is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!” During his short press conference today, he reiterated that claim. I never really thought about it in those terms, but it could be Tr-mp is a witch, since he cast a strange spell over 46% of the electorate and has given Republican Party leadership magical herbs and potions such that they don’t care how his dark arts are darkening our democracy. In any case, here’s to Robert Mueller exposing the Russian-friendly coven and the big, bad Orange Witch that leads it!

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Oh, for the record. The theme on cable news yesterday seemed to be that Democrats were “over their skis” on impeachment talk. Even many Democrats said there is not enough evidence yet to speculate about that. I continue to remind you that the Emoluments Clause is being violated every single day and Tr-mp should be impeached for that. I don’t know why Democrats refuse to talk about emoluments anymore, but then they are Democrats. They seem to only be able to juggle one ball at a time. But not me. Emoluments! (There is even a twist to the story; he may be violating “a different emoluments clause, one that specifically bars him from receiving money or gifts above and beyond his mandated salary from governments right here at home.”)

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Speaking of the coven, how ’bout this:

Michael Flynn and other advisers to Donald Trump’s campaign were in contact with Russian officials and others with Kremlin ties in at least 18 calls and emails during the last seven months of the 2016 presidential race, current and former U.S. officials familiar with the exchanges told Reuters.

If you remember, and it is hard to keep track, the folks at the White’s House denied there were any contacts at all with the Ruskies during the campaign, let alone 18 of them from April through November. Now, why would patriotic Americans like those associated with Tr-mp want to spend so much time talking to our nasty adversaries? Stay tuned. When the witches involved get tied to the special counsel’s stake, they may start talking.

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Image result for pillow fightOh, speaking of Michael Flynn, he is so far refusing to comply with a subpoena for documents issued by the Senate Intelligence Committee. But don’t worry. Committee Chairman Richard Burr (R-N.C.) is all over this. He might seek a contempt of Congress vote against Flynn or he might hit him with a feather pillow. My money is on the pillow-slap.

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In case you missed it, House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy was caught on tape (those damned tapes!) just a month before Agent Orange cast his final spell on the Republican electorate during the primary last year and clinched the nomination. McCarthy said:

There’s two people I think Putin pays. Rohrabacher and Tr-mp.

Dana Rohrabacher is a congressman from California who thinks his district extends all the way to Moscow. He’s a very Putin and Russia friendly guy. Tr-mp, of course, is the guy whose unseemly-shaped mouth is, according to at least one pundit, a holster for Putin’s pocket rocket. McCarthy didn’t say exactly why Putin would pay Tr-mp for such services, since, obviously, Tr-mp would gladly perform them for free.

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Image result for toby keithSpeaking of performing for free, the godawful Toby Keith will hook up with Tr-mp in Saudi Arabia and perform a men-only concert for those dangerous Muslims who abide by strict Islamic law. Apparently, the Tr-mp team doesn’t think American prestige around the world has suffered enough, so, since Ted Nugent was busy molesting a 13-year-old assault rifle, they got the next best act available that could embarrass the country abroad. No word in yet on whether the godawful Keith will do his great American classic, “I Like Girls That Drink Beer.” One thing we know for sure: there will be no pussy grabbing at that concert. Tr-mp will have to wait for the post-performance party.

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Speaking of people who embarrass the country, there is a report out there that we will see less of Sean Spicer. And just when he was getting the hang of lying and whining in a more friendly manner. Darn.

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Speaking of lying and whining, Tr-mp said yesterday to a group of Coast Guard graduates:

Image result for abraham lincoln shotLook at the way I’ve been treated lately, especially by the media. No politician in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.

Abraham Lincoln could not be reached for comment.

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In the I’m-just-trying-to-cheer-you-up category, I offer the musings of Tony Schwartz, who actually wrote The Art of the Deal and helped make Tr-mp infamous. Schwartz thinks Tr-mp is “in a pretty significant meltdown” right now and will not go through any impeachment process. “I surely believe that at some point over the next period of time he’s going to have to figure out a way to resign,” he said. Okay. Now back to the bad news.

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Joe Lieberman is, according to CNN, the “front-runner for FBI director.” Oh, my. The former Democratic senator from Connecticut (he had to run as an independent to keep his senate seat in 2006) once was the party’s nominee for Vice President way back in 2000, the year the Supreme Court was handing the presidency to another guy who lost the popular vote. Then Lieberman fell in love with John McCain and backed him against the Scary Negro in 2008. Then he helped ruin the construction of Obamacare. Then he retired to make a lot of money in the private sector. Now, he is back and, apparently, ready to keep the Orange Witch from being burned at the stake.

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Finally, there is “first I heard of it” Mike Pence. You may remember him. He was the white-haired guy running with the broad-shouldered guy for high office last year. Oh, and he lied a lot just like his running mate did. Well, those two “won.” And they hired a guy named Michael Flynn, who had been chanting “lock her up” at Tr-mp campaign rallies, to be our National Security Adviser. A real class act. Anyway, people keep saying Michael Flynn was eventually fired for “lying” to Pence about Flynn’s ties to Turkey and other sins. People keep saying that but those people don’t have any evidence for it other than Pence’s word that he knew nothing and that Flynn lied to him. But as head of Tr-mp’s transition team, Pence had to know something. Why assume Pence wasn’t lying when he vouched for Flynn?

Then there were the multiple lies Pence told about why Tr-mp fired FBI Director Comey. It was because of the recommendation of Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein, Pence said over and over and over. Then Tr-mp contradicted him and said he would have fired Comey no matter what anyone, even God, said about it. Uh-oh. I don’t think Pence has Image result for mike pence and trumpbeen seen since.

Now we find out that Michael Flynn told the Tr-mp transition team—more than two weeks before Tr-mp’s tiny inauguration—that he was under federal investigation for his duties as a lobbyist for Turkey, duties that paid him around $500,000 and which caused him to reject an anti-ISIS plan that was opposed by Turkey. The transition team made Flynn our National Security Adviser anyway, and now we are supposed to believe that Pence didn’t know anything about that federal investigation. So, we are forced to believe Pence is the dumbest guy this side of Tr-mp, or he is a liar.

In any case, it doesn’t much matter to me either way. Mike Pence is just as illegitimate as Tr-mp. And should Tr-mp get tossed out of office or quit and open up a “Brazilian wax” shop in Moscow, I will dedicate this blog to unpresidenting Pence. Nothing about this administration is legitimate and I won’t accept any of it as normal.

 

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1 Comment

  1. Duane —
    I always enjoy your remarks and asides. With “reality” changing by the hour and the GOP rats scurrying for newer and better excuses for this plague they’ve unleashed on American democracy, seems a logical move to hit some high points and be prepared for another shit deluge from Tr-mp and his minions and apologists.
    By way of response — how do you respond to this post? — it was also noticed what a delusional nitwit John Kasich actually is when he shared the stage with Bernie this week. Kasich is supposed to be the voice of reason in the GOP. Maybe he is. That ain’t sayin’ much. He just wants to sit back and see if these tone deaf “legislators” on the public dole can get away with the worst example of treason in the history of this republic. The current level of denial and dumb fuckery amongst Republicans right now is off the charts.
    What can be said? This is crazy.
    You know my contempt for Mikey Pence. His sorry, lyin’ ass needs to be sitting in the same prison cell with the Donald. And later — both their heads on a pike.
    Anyway, thanks for carrying us, brother.

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