Romney And Robertson Are Out To Prove God Wrong?

His internal polls must be showing a deficiency in tongue-talking evangelical support for Mittens’ Magical Mormonism.

Why else would Romney appear with that crazy evangelist who talks to TV cameras and God for a living, Pat Robertson? With Robertson approvingly looking on, Romney uttered this weird rhetorical trifecta on Saturday:

I will not take God out of the name of our platform. I will not take God off our coins, and I will not take God out of my heart.

Wow! Thank God that God is safe from yet another Bain Capital downsizing! Those things can get messy you know. One day you think you’ve got a job—in this case God was workin’ three jobs!—and then in comes Bain and faster than you can say Holy Shih Tzu! you’re outta there.

For his part, the electronic evangelist, who on Tuesday said the Democratic Party is “the party of gays, godlessness and whatever else,” had previously endorsed Mittens, despite saying in 2011,

I’ve personally backed off from direct political involvement. I’ve been there, done that. The truth of the matter is politics is not going to change our world. It’s really not going to make that much of a difference.

Well, God ain’t nothing if he ain’t fickle, and apparently the Almighty has taken a divine shine to Mittens and Mormonism, so much so that Romney and Robertson can pal around together in the name of, uh, Jesus? Or is it in the name of Joseph Smith? Ayn Rand? Clint Eastwood?—no, can’t be him. I think he’s still alive. I forget who it is.

In any case, there are plenty of places you can go on the Internet to see the nutty things Robertson has said and done, and I have written plenty about them myself (here and here for instance). Suffice it to say now that I am quite intrigued by the Romney appearance with Pat Robertson because in January of this year Pat Robertson told his viewers the following:

I spent the better part of a week in prayer and just saying, “God just show me something,” and I’ll share with you—uh, some things I’ll share with you. I think he showed me about the next president but I’m not supposed to talk about that, so I’ll leave you in the dark…but I think I know who it’s gonna be.

Okay, Pat Robertson thinks he knows who will win in November. Wait, I’m sorry. He thinks God told him who the next president will be. That’s kind of different, ain’t it?

And, lucky you,  if you watch the entire segment below, you will know too. You can figure it out from what Robertson says God told him, things like “this country will begin disintegrating.” We all know that must mean that Obama wins because any candidate Robertson and God endorses would not countenance the disintegration of the country, right? Well, right?

But I am wondering why, if Romney believes in Robertson and if Robertson heard from God that Romney is already a loser, why would the loser still keep on campaigning such that he might prove Robertson and God both wrong? Wait. Can you actually prove God wrong? Huh?

Beats me. I just don’t know. But I do know that if you watch the entire segment below you will deduce who will win in November as well as note that, as I said at the time, God has replaced his message of “good tidings of great joy” with,

Your country will be torn apart by internal stress. A house divided cannot stand. Your president holds a radical view of the direction of your country which is at odds with the majority. Expect chaos and paralysis. Your president holds a view which is at the odds with the majority — it’s a radical view of the future of the country…the future of the world is at stake…

Bronco Billy And The Convention Circus

I guess Donald Trump wasn’t available.

But they got the next best thing.

I don’t know who the Republican genius was that thought it would be a good idea to have Clint Eastwood address the convention in prime time, but, as a Democrat, I’d like to personally thank him or her.

Unfortunately, by now the Republicans have offered their thanks to the genius by giving him or her a much less dignified, but certainly much more challenging, job: getting the chili sauce stains out of Newt Gingrich’s shirt, after that disappointed Romney surrogate got a little sloppy last night while pulling an all-you-can-eat all-nighter at the Golden Corral in Tampa.

That’s how Newt drowns his sorrows, and Republicans had reason to be especially sorrowful, after they quickly figured out that this year’s Republican National Convention will now be remembered, fittingly, as the night Clint Eastwood gave his greatest performance, at least in terms of representing today’s GOP.

His utter disrespect for President Obama, though cringe-inducing for most normal folks, was quite enjoyable for those lucky enough to be in the house for such buffoonery. The only thing that could have topped it would have been a Cheech and Chong routine performed by Donald Trump and Sheriff Joe Arpaio, with that zany Republican duo smoking dope, talking trash about Obama’s phony birth certificate, and doing an updated Obama-version of  “Basketball Jones.”

Our own Ozark Billy Long was in attendance and said this about Eastwood’s performance:

The crowd ate it up. They loved Clint Eastwood and loved his speech and my tip off was when all the liberals, including David Axelrod, was one of the first to chime in on Twitter, and, uh, some of the media folks down here started tweetin’ about how terrible it was, how egregious it was, and I thought, well, if we’ve ticked those people off, he probably did what he was suppose to do out there…talkin’ to the president, who wasn’t there, I thought that that was pretty entertaining…

And thus I leave you with that wonderful assessment from my congressman, our representative from Missouri’s 7th District. I am damned proud to be from such a place that would put such a man in Washington, D.C.

Aren’t you?

Clint Eastwood Is Bullish On America

In case you missed it during yesterday’s festivities, or just because the following fantastic commercial is worth watching more than once, here it is. And when you watch it, think about all the negative rhetoric about America’s future we hear coming from the mouths of Republicans:

 

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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