“I firmly believe that God kept me for a reason much bigger than I ever would have dreamed or imagined.”

—Herman Cain

Herman Cain, by God, is movin’ on up.

Now that he has won a straw poll in Florida and improved his standing in the polls, Herman Cain, known to Palinistas as “Herb,” is enjoying a jumbo Classic Combo pizza of publicity.  And as was the case with other recent Republican presidential candidates who were suddenly thrust into the media spotlight, Cain couldn’t resist saying something dumb:

African-Americans have been brainwashed into not being open-minded, not even considering a conservative point of view.

That’s dumb because he goes on to say:

This whole notion that all African-Americans are not going to vote for Obama is not necessarily true. I believe a third [of African-Americans] would vote for me, based on my own anecdotal feedback. Not vote for me because I’m black but because of my policies.

So, African-Americans are brainwashed but not so brainwashed as to ignore Herman Cain.  I think I get it. Good luck with getting their votes now, Herb.

What I don’t get is why God can’t seem to get his act together. First he sends us Michele Bachmann, then Rick Perry, and now Herman Cain, who, as you will learn, God saved from cancer presumably to lead the free world.

Cain’s brainwashing charge is interesting coming from a washed-in-the-blood Baptist preacher who admits that he has “been in the church all my life.”  Think about that.  All-my-life. The man is 65 years old. Is it possible that Mr. Cain—who said in May,”This country needs a leader, not a reader“—sitting in those church pews, may have had his brain scrubbed clean of all ability to think for himself?  Or perhaps his brain has been programmed to interpret events in strange ways?

He told CBN:

So my faith is a big part of who I am and at my church now, which is the same one I grew up in, I’m one of the Associate Ministers there because I was called to the ministry. Sometimes when people are called to the ministry they think that God wants them to give up something else. But God has done some magnificent things with my life, especially what he has done in terms of my health.

“Called” to the ministry. Is that a sign of a laundered brain? And what do we make of that what-God-has-done-in-terms-of-my-health stuff? Remember, after the audience gave him a cancer-surviving ovation, what he said in a recent GOP debate about his health? He’ said he’d be dead now if Obamacare had been in effect when he learned he had cancer in 2006 .  Remember? But he said more than that:

If [I] had been under Obamacare, and a bureaucrat had been trying to tell me when I could get that [CT] scan, that would have delayed my treatment. I was able to get the treatment as fast as I could based upon my timetable, and not the government’s timetable. That’s what saved my life.

“That’s what saved my life.”  On a stage during a debate, Herman Cain said that access to expedited cancer treatment saved his life.  But back in March he described it differently and even more disturbingly, at least for a presidential candidate.  I will quote his story in full because in terms of brainwashing one can’t find a better example of how a mind, molded by years of conservative religious indoctrination, can interpret events in spooky ways. 

As you read the following bizarre account, from a video interview (posted below) on the Christian Broadcasting Network, think about this same man sitting in the Oval Office and interpreting unfolding events in, say, the Middle East, and also think about the fact that a lot of folks would say “Amen” to the account:

In 2006, I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I had cancer in my colon and cancer in my liver. I had to go through chemotherapy. The surgery required removal of 30 percent of my colon and 70 percent of my liver. And then I had to go through some more chemotherapy.

That was nearly five years ago and I only had a 30 percent chance of survival. God said ‘Herman, not yet’.” My question was, ‘Lord why are you keeping me here?’ Now let me tell you why I know God kept me here. Let me give you why I know God kept me here to do something that I never envisioned.

When I started thinking about running for president, I thought about Noah. Noah didn’t know how to build an ark. I started to think about Moses. Moses resisted going back leading the children out of Egypt. The Bible is full of people—Joshua didn’t want to lead the children into the Promised Land. God spoke to Moses and encouraged Moses—you must talk to our son Joshua—and he did and that gave him the strength.

When I was first detected that I had stage 4 cancer I had to go and get a second opinion. The doctor that was recommended was a doctor in Savannah, Georgia, three hours away from Atlanta. I resisted. I said, ‘Why do I need to go all the way to Savannah and I live here in Atlanta with all these hospitals and doctors here. I know I have cancer. I know what we need to get done. Let’s get on with the program.’  You know that business mentality.

And so the friend of mine said, ‘I think you want to go see this doctor. His name is Dr. Lord.’ I said, ‘What? L-O-R-D?’ Yes. He was a colon cancer specialist. Dr. Lord gave me my second opinion.

When I went to MD Anderson Cancer Center and I had to go through orientation with my wife in terms of how to navigate through this big medical facility, we went into the orientation office and the lady that was supposed to give us our orientation, she was busy with some other new patients. So the lady at the counter said to keep you and Mrs. Cain from waiting, I will give you your orientation so you won’t have to wait.

I said, ‘Well thank you. How nice I didn’t know they had good customer service at a big medical facility but they do.’ So we go into the conference room and she put all the materials down that we were supposed to go through. And she started to tell us about what we needed to do, how I could get my blood work done the night before. I said, ‘Wait a minute. You’ve been so nice. What is your name?’ She said ‘Grace’. I said, ‘Do you spell it the same way as you spell it in Amazing Grace?’ She said, ‘Yes.’

A lady named Grace. My wife and I looked at each other and I said, ‘Thank you Lord.’ He’s with me on this journey. I’m not done yet. I was randomly assigned an oncologist and a surgeon. The surgeon’s name is Dr. Abdullah. He’s from Lebanon. That made me a little nervous initially but only to find out that he’s a Christian. He’s a Christian. And when I went in to see Dr. Abdullah, he was explaining to me how he was going to remove a part of my colon and a part of my liver in one operation.

I’m going, ‘Doc you must be a miracle worker. How are you going to do that’? The colon is on the left. The liver is on the right. How are you going to do that with one incision?’

He said, I do it all the time. I’m going to start in your sternum and I’m going to make an incision in the shape of a “J”. As in J-E-S-U-S? He said yes. A Jesus cut. I said, ‘thank you Lord.’ God said ‘not yet’ and He gave me these signs along the way that let me know that He was with me.

And I firmly believe that God kept me for a reason much bigger than I ever would have dreamed or imagined. Whether that is ultimately to become the President of the United States or not, I don’t know. I just know at this point I am following God’s plan.

You get two plans in life: yours and God’s. Now mine was to become a successful businessman and I was able to do that. And I believe that God allowed me to become a successful businessman because He had something else in mind beyond that successful business career.

The reason I’m here today and the reason I believe that I’m going to be successful from this point forward. There was a song that a songwriter who was a good friend of mine when he was alive, he wrote a song called ‘God is on my side’. I’ll never forget it. 

Noah…Moses…Joshua…Dr. Lord…A Lady Named Grace…Dr. Abdullah The Christian…The Jesus Cut…”God is on my side.”  Put them all together in a brain “washed in the blood” and you have a man who an increasing and disconcerting number of Republicans want to become President of the United States.

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